There you are, in this great relationship. Everything is going well. You like all the same things, and it seems you are doing everything together. Your friends like his friends, his friends like your friends, and you are just one of those couples that everyone adores and then, one morning you wake up and think, "I need this why?" Suddenly you feel like maybe, this isn't the way it's supposed to go, maybe it's time for this...dare I say, should be ending. How do you know when it's time to call a relationship quits and move away and on with your life.
Things You'll Need:
Close attention to detail
some good friends
A way out
Step one, ASSESS the relationship. Get to a quiet place where you can be alone without interruption by your partner and write down a pros and cons list for your relationship. I recommend destroying this list afterwards so that your partner never find it!
Okay, you have your list of pros and cons. Next, take a page or two and write down what was so great about your relationship to begin with. What was it about that person that drove the two of you together? Was it a mutual interest like dancing, or belly shots at the bar, or tennis, or love for Asian food, what was it?
Third. Try to figure out just what changed. What happened to make the relationship different. Perhaps in the beginning you were both into kick boxing and now he's working late every day. Maybe in the beginning you both wanted the same things and now it seems like you are going into completely different places. Or maybe you've changed. Maybe what you thought you wanted or needed from the relationship has changed. Maybe you now want more and what had started out as a simple "fling" has become something else and you want a commitment or you want to move on. How long have you been together? We all grow over time. Most couples either grow together, or grow apart. But if you find that the growing apart leaves you dreading when you are with them, maybe it's time to move on.
Look at your relationship under a magnifying glass. Are you fighting all the time? Do you find that you/or your partner would rather spend time with their friends than with you? Are you finding fault with each other all the time? Is there or could there be another love interest? These are hard questions, believe me I know it, but you have to ask yourself these questions.
Can you be truthful with each other? Do you communicate? How often do you talk about what is going on in your lives? Have they shut you out? Do you shut them out? How often are you intimate with each other? If you aren't having relations at least once a month, there is a problem of some sort. Are they ever tender with you any more?
Who have you become as a result of being in this relationship? Is this WHO you are? Do you feel empty inside? Is being with this person getting in the way of who you want to be, truly be, or moreover, who you are? Have you become less of yourself so that they can be more of who they are? Are you the martyr?
The hand you hold, maybe the hand that holds you down. If the relationship isn't working at making you a better person, or helping you to become the best you that you can be, then see it for what it is. If you face facts early on in the relationship, you can either work it out, or move on. Don't go chasing after friends. It is truly much better to be alone and happy then to be in a horrible relationship that eats at you daily and in the end sends you to an early grave.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I can't find the words to say....it is now 5:50 and approximately 20 minutes ago my bird passed away. Although I called my bird fat, and said it ate too much, and teased it when it didn't talk to me, and used to put my barbie's hand in the cage, and used to feed it cup of noodles, and used to talk on the phone in front of it, and so much more... I will miss my bird so so much....Death and losses hurt my heart.....I don't take losing people very well...its different to lose them and know they're still wandering in the world but losing them by death has to be the hardest thing ever....Only God knows how much I loved my bird and my aunt that just passed....I just prayed earlier today for God to help me with what I was going through and to give me strength....I thanked him for all the things I had, all the things I don't have, and all the things I will have in the future.....I thank God for the memories I have with my aunt and my bird that will always dwell in my heart....I honestly cannot stop crying....I stood there watching him struggle and I shut the door...(I don't take that well either)...and as soon as my uncle said "Oh No" I knew that was it....You love things so much and you want them to be there forever but sometimes they just can't.....sometimes God is doing all that he can to let you know that *as the color purple would say* "This life don't last forever, but heaven last always" So take advantage of what you have and cherish your time by creating memories with those people...or in my case people and animals.....If I could say one last thing to my bird I would say I love you so much and I'm going to miss you just as much.....RIP Mr. Green
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I'm kinda bummed that I missed church today. I didn't have time to do my hair yesterday because I was too busy indulging in crab legs and shrimp. I had a wonderful 4th of July. Come to think of it...My life is wonderful. I have this wonderful internship making alot of money while learning alot in the process. I can honestly say the experience is invaluable. I'm re-acquainting myself with people I lost touch with throughout the years and making an impact on their lives and vice versa. My family and I are so close now. My niece loves me although we fight all the time with her toys, but she knows its out of love...I don't know man..I just feel blessed and highly favored....no drama no nothing....
Although I do have all of these things going well I still have continuous aspirations. I have the career, I have the grades, I have the blessing pouring in but what I want to aspire for myself is to become a free spirit. Indulging in life, what it has to offer and being open minded. I'm an observant person and I've noticed that the people that are unsuccessful (in terms of my definition of success) are the ones that don't open up their minds...those that are close-minded to the walls or environment around them and then they blame it on God not catching them a break... I believe you have to look around you to determine what is prohibiting your success or even WHO is....if you have all this drama following you why? If you can't find a career why? What are you doing to contribute towards it?
It has worked for me thus far and I'm going to keep on working at it in hope that it continue to work and God will continue to bless me. Oh well. I think Im going to read this book I just bought...until next time..
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I know that some people claim that they don't care what people think about them regardless so why do you change up depending on who you're around. Having the ability to adapt is one thing but SWITCHING THE GAME UP is a whole other thing. Be yourself, but be consistent...Keep in mind what people say when they're in your face and behind your back....if you died today what would people really say about you.....keep that in mind when you carry yourself every day. I just thought about that being as though Michael Jackson was lost today.....what are people saying about him now that he's gone......what did people really think of him while he was alive....it's all so crazy to me....RIP Michael....until next time.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Be careful about the people who you associate with and the people you confide in. People come in and out of your life like seasons but the real ones will be there year end and year out. Been disappointed by plenty of people this year man, but I am a strong woman. I hate when you confide in someone in someone that is supposed to be your friend and when a discussion arises they take it personal and rub it back in your face. I think that is so petty beyond belief. I hate when people stop talking to you over petty stuff and call everyone their best friend that they're not. People are completely flawed with not identifying who they are and what they stand for...and if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything...where are some real intelligent open minded people out here that aren't with all this shiesty mess going on....anywho enough with the drama....time for fun. Until next time.
Monday, June 1, 2009
So I've been watching B Scott's video for years. I practically love him. Not only is he inspiring, but he is so dag on funny!!! I was waiting on him to comment on this video and he did!!!!! I feel like it's christmas! The sims 3 comes out tomorrow.....OMG (too excited) Well onto continuing to lay in my bed until i feel like getting up to do some spring cleaning.